Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic (Boyle's Law)

I discovered the following find today. I don't know how old it is, and you probably might have seen it before - but I like it and want to share it :-) If you are interested about that urban legends background, have a look here.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question of the mid-term exam: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, and then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

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  1. niciii says:

    *Das ist die mir bekannte Variante - da war er am Schluß nicht so erfolgreich bei Teresa :-)


    "First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If
    they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are
    souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can
    safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

    Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at
    the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these
    religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you
    will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people
    do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and
    souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
    number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states
    that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the
    ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options
    exist:

    If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
    hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell
    breaks loose.
    If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell,
    then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
    So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during
    Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with
    you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in
    having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell
    is exothermic."

    The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

  2. Jürgen Hösch says:

    *Irgendwie gefällt mir die Version mit "Happy End" besser..


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